Such is life!!

I've been having some vivid dreams recently.
Nothing too crazy, but very detailed dreams of people from my past.
Friends to be exact.

Lately all I've been doing is thinking about these people and how things just changed.
One person in particular.

We met in 2001 while we were both working at a Golf Course.
She was the eldest of 4 kids, just like me. She was working & going to college, just like me. She turned 21 in July, while I turned 21 in October.

It was a match made in heaven!!

It took a bit for us to really get comfortable with each other, but once we clicked we became the bestest of friends. (You see for as long as I can remember, people have told me I'm very intimidating to approach. I give off a vibe that I'm b!tchy, snotty, arrogant. All characteristics of mine, at times. Yes. I'll admit. But once you crack my outer shell, I'm nothing like that, as all my friends later confirm).

Needless to say she & I were best friends.
We did almost everything together.
We were there for each other through several failed relationships. Screened all the guys we were dating. Partied HARD!! Supported each other through college. Helped make decisions. You name it.

Then, things changed.

I fell head over heels in love with Oshin and my life was moving at 150 mph.
(I don't think I did anything to neglect my friend, but I could be wrong).

One minute I'm telling her I'm FINALLY pregnant, the next she's gone.
And I never saw her again. 

I was heartbroken!!
I wanted her apart of my life, still.
(But I guess it just wasn't in the cards).

We each moved on and my new family & I moved out of the state.

I recently found out on Facebook (got to love that social networking site) that she is engaged to be married.

I was ecstatic for her, but yet saddened at the same time.
We always talked about planning her wedding, bridal shower, and bachelorette party.
I always wanted to be apart of one of the greatest days of her life.

But that's not the case.

Life kicked in and took us down different paths, in different times.

I only have a handful of genuine lasting friendships that have endured through time.

And I'm okay with that!!

This is one of the main reasons, why I'm not very "approachable" or look to make friends anymore.

I'd rather have acquaintances than friends.
Acquaintances can't disappoint you.
Friends can, because you give them your heart.

(Trust me, I have many many more stories about "friends").

We all have different views on this particular topic. This just happens to be mine.

I'm blaming my pregnancy hormones on this rant, causing me to dream, and think about this.


C'est la vie!!