I had a meltdown today

I hate dislike whiny people and yet, I have seemed to turn into one.
Great!
I hate dislike myself now!! (Lol).

Why am I so whiny? Ugh.

Perhaps it's because I have no real friends over here.
 No. I do!
I have a few good friends and acquaintances; just not the kind of friends whom I can call EVERYDAY to chit chat about anything and everything AND especially vent to.

Nope. I do not have friends like THAT anymore.  

(I DO have my dearest Oshin, who really is my best friend. But there's only so much the poor guy can take. You know)?

Anyway, back to my meltdown...

Andres has had a fever since Monday. It's a weird fever too, with a high of 104.9 and a low of 99.8. Nonetheless, he's had it since Monday.

Is he sleeping?

Nope. Poor guy. So I'm not sleeping either. 
(And after a 4 month absence, my "monthly gift" decided to grace me with her presence on Tuesday. Not complaining about it, just stating the facts). 

My husband has not had to "nurse" our sick baby all through the night. EVER! He does not know what it is to be sleep deprived and tending to a sickly, fussy child at the wee hours of the night/morning. Easy for him to tell me not to worry about it and no need to rush him to the doctor.

But, I listened to him and put it off.

Last night, Andres fell asleep at 4 a.m. (next to me on the uncomfortable futon) in our tv/play area upstairs.

I wake up at 7 a.m., see he's still asleep, and rush to take a shower (wash my hair & shave my legs). I look in my vanity mirror and see the monstrosity of my eyebrows, which look like a uni-brow at this point, and get to plucking.

At 7:45 ish he's still asleep.

I run downstairs to clean up the kitchen and get some laundry out of the way. My baby boy wakes up. Fussy and burning up, of course!!!

I give him some cool water and try to feed him breakfast. (I know it's in vain, because he hasn't been eating all week). His rectal temp is 103.9. I try to give him Motrin, but he throws it all up. So I start making phone calls to try to see his pediatrician. (H1N1, the regular flu, and strep throat is going around our playgroup circle).
No such luck! No appointments are available until tomorrow afternoon.
(Tomorrow afternoon? This mama has a much needed dermatologist appointment to get to too).

I'm on the phone with Oshin. He finally says, "Well, ok... take him to the ER then."
I tell him I'm taking him to Dayton Children's Hospital and not the ER on base.
We "argued" a bit.
I put some clothes on and we head out the door.

A five hour ER visit it turned out to be. And the ambiance of the nurses and nurse practitioners attending us, was of a paranoid mother bringing her child to the ER just because.
Are you kidding me?
I would never put my child through exams, JUST BECAUSE. The poor guy has been ill. I want to make sure he is okay.

Finally we're done!
I'm glad to know it's nothing serious and "just a virus" (as they call it), and recommended us to wash our hands more.
REALLY??  Because I don't already wash my hands and his hands 100 times a day. (Okay, maybe an exaggeration, but I do wash/sanitize our hands quite often).

But I'm livid at this point!!!  Walking out the door, the tears just fall down.

Why does my poor child keep getting these nasty bugs? He was very sick and hospitalized, just last month.  What am I, as a mother, doing wrong?? 

We walk in the door 10 minutes before Oshin and he says," See, I told you so."

YOU... YOU... Ba$tard!!! Shut the hell up!!! (I cry even more).

A meltdown is what I had today. Yep yep!!


I'm better now. Andres & I made brownies.  

Brownies with Andres made it ALL better!!!